Why you should thank the people who have hurt you most in life?. Автор: Вегина Полина. Работа №246965

WHY YOU SHOULD THANK THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT YOU MOST IN LIFE?

 

The

people

who

were

able

to

hurt

you

most

were

also

the

people

whom

you

were

able

to love the

most

. We

aren’t

profoundly

affected

by

people

who

aren’t

already

deeply

within

our hearts. For

someone

to

have

that

much

importance

in your

life

is

sacred

,

even

when

it

goes

askew

. It’s a

gift

to know

someone

who

was

able

to

truly

affect

you,

even

if at first it

didn’t

seem

like it

was

for the best.

 

Difficult

relationships

often

push you to

change

your

behavior

for the

better

. In

feeling

helpless

, you learn to

take

care

of

yourself

. In

feeling

used

, you

recognize

your

worth

. In

being

abused

, you

develop

compassion

. In

feeling

like you’re

stuck

, you

realize

there

is

always

a

choice

. In

accepting

what

was

done

to you, you

realize

that

nobody

has

control

at the end of the

day

,

but

in

surrendering

the

need

for

something

we’ll

never

have

, we can find

peace

,

which

is

what

we

were

actually

seeking

in the first

place

.

 

 

What

you learn and who you

become

is more

important

than

how you

temporarily

feel

. That

relationship

may

have

seemed

almost

unbearable

at the time,

but

the

feeling

is

transitory

. The

wisdom

and

grace

and knowledge that you

carried

with you

afterwards

aren’t

.

They

set

a

foundation

for the

rest

of your

life

. The ends

far

outweigh

the

means

, and to be

grateful

for

what

you’ve

been

through

is to

completely

acknowledge

that.

 

You

don’t

come

across

these

people

by

accident

;

they

were

your

teachers

and

catalysts

. In the words of C.

Joybell

C., we’re all

stars

that

think

they’re

dying

until

we

realize

we’re

collapsing

into

supernovas

—to

become

more

beautiful

than

ever

before

. It

often

takes

the

contrast

of

pain

to

completely

appreciate

what

we

have

, and it

often

takes

hate

to

incite

self-recognition

.

Sometimes

the

way

light

enters

us is, in

fact

,

through

the

wound

.

 

 

Even

if it

wasn’t

your

fault

, it is your

problem

, and you

get

to

choose

what

you do in the

aftermath

. You

have

every

right

to

rage

and

rant

and

hate

every

iota

of

someone’s

being

,

but

you

also

have

the

right

to

choose

to be at

peace

. To thank

them

is to

forgive

them

, and to

forgive

them

is to

choose

to

realize

that the

other

side

of

resentment

is

wisdom

. To find

wisdom

in

pain

is to

realize

that the

people

who

become

“

supernovas

” are the

ones

who

acknowledge

their

pain

and

then

channel

it

into

something

better

, not

people

who

just

acknowledge

it and

then

leave

it to

stagnate

and

remain

.

 

The

people

who

have

been

through

a

lot

are

often

the

ones

who are

wiser

and

kinder

and

happier

overall

. This is

because

they’ve

been

“

through

” it, not “

past

” it or “over” it.

They’ve

completely

acknowledged

their

feelings

and

they’ve

learned

and

they’ve

grown

.

They

develop

compassion

and

self-awareness

.

They

are more

conscious

of who

they

let

into

their

lives

.

They

take

a more

active

role

in

creating

their

lives

, in

being

grateful

for

what

they

have

and in

finding

reasons

for

what

they

don’t

.

 

 

It

showed

you

what

you do

deserve

.

Those

relationships

didn’t

actually

hurt

you;

they

showed

you an

unhealed

part

of

yourself

, a

part

that

was

preventing

you from

being

truly

loved. That’s

what

happens

when

we

finally

get

past

hurtful

experiences

and

terrible

relationships

: We

realize

we are

worth

more, and

so

we

choose

more. We

realize

how we

blindly

or

naively

said

“yes” to

someone

or

gave

them

our

mind

and heart space

when

we

didn’t

have

to. We

realize

our

role

in

choosing

what

we

want

in our

lives

, and by

experiencing

what

seems

like the

worst

, we

finally

acknowledge

that it

feels

so

wrong

because

we

deserve

so

much

more.

 

Truly

coming

to

peace

with

anything

is

being

able

to

say

: “Thank you for that

experience

.” To

fully

move

on from

anything

, you

must

be

able

to

recognize

what

purpose

it

served

and how it

made

you

better

.

Until

that

moment

, you’ll

only

be

ruminating

over how it

made

things

worse

,

which

means

you’re not to the

other

side

yet

. To

fully

accept

your

life

—the

highs

,

lows

, good, bad—is to be

grateful

for all of it, and to know that the “good”

teaches

you well,

but

the “bad”

teaches

you

better

.